Have You Ever Really Asked a Question? A Question for Leaders

Sterling Martin MEM, MALM, BAppBus:ES, ACP

The Question

I have lived a life in leadership roles from non-profit, to business to emergency response; I have led a diverse team of individuals with ideas, opinions and life experiences which have enhanced or increased difficulty of where I was leading the team. I have always wanted to be the self-aware leader, growing, and changing to support all I have had the privilege of influencing. But today as I write this, I just finished reading a short excerpt which brought me to the question, do I ask questions for answers and input, or do I ask questions for manipulation and to support my direction……am I telling or listening?

The Problem

As a leader my goal is to add value to people, to add value to a situation, to have what is being done make a difference, and this is where my revelation for this comes up; am I doing it for what I want to achieve or am I doing it for the betterment of all, am I asking the questions and then listening and hearing the answers.  Better yet, is it my understanding or a truthful complete understanding? Who and what am I doing it for, what is my why? Am I leading with humility or hubris?

How to I Find the Answer

How I find the answer is a reflective process, whenever I look to make a decision which has influence or power over others or will led a process in a new and uncertain direction, I ask myself who have I talked to about this…. I mean really talked to, you know have had the difficult, heated, or constructive disagreement with? Once I figure out who I have really talked with then comes the next daunting question which if I cannot answer easy, I must go back and re-create or better yet re-live the constructive disagreement. Regardless of the outcome of the constructive disagreement, if I do not have the complete unabridged understanding of the others involved, I am leading with hubris, it is all about me and my idea. If I can take each point brought out and work through the pros and cons, adopting and adjusting where needed making a promising idea great then maybe, just maybe there may be a little humility present.

Outcome

Looking at my leadership over the years there have been times in emergency situations (I am talking true life and death) where I have not had the time to discuss what needs to be done. To my favor I have had the privilege of working with some amazing, trusting teams…not everyone is as fortunate as I have been. What has created the great outcomes is an amazing team of trust and belief in each other. Even when events did not go as we hoped, we worked together, de-briefed, learned, and then re-engaged and with each event I have had to ask the question, am I listening to understand or listening to simply include without understanding? To go from good to great as a leader it goes beyond listening, it goes further to listen and hear for understanding and then ensuring the good of every understanding is included. My goal for future leadership roles will be to ask questions, get others involved, support their growth and while doing that listen to understand the answer of others to the questions I ask.